Even the Best of Us Loses the Best of Us

Very rarely will I fall off the wagon so hard due to depression or anxiety like in the past; quite frankly, I do not miss that happening one bit. I also know that low points and relapses are a continuous part of life and healing. Despite that, when you spend more time feeling happy rather than miserable, you forget just how exhausting it is to be upset or worried all of the time.

I would be lying to you all if I told you that I have been walking around with my head held high and looking fierce and flawless (as I enjoy once in a blue moon). You want to know what my last week or two has really been like?

Continue reading “Even the Best of Us Loses the Best of Us”

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I’ve Been Having a Tough Time…

Hello, all of you spooks. I know I promised the posting schedule will be better, but stressors on the outside have made it nearly impossible for me to focus on my work. My best friend is getting married on Saturday, which led to a few conflicts that blew up into something way worse than it should have been. (Luckily, everything is all right for now.) My full-time job at a casino was insanely busy due to Memorial Day weekend, and I also work extra days straight due to the wedding coming up over the weekend.

Continue reading “I’ve Been Having a Tough Time…”

Modeling, Makeup, and Mental Health Awareness Month

Though a shroud of stigmas surround them, mental illnesses are probably some of the most difficult disorders to try and deal with. It’s sad when people who don’t understand try to make it sound so easy to handle. On the other end, it’s also a bit exaggerated when people who suffer from disorders like depression and anxiety swear they are unable to at least try to keep it from ruining their life in any way.

Despite what people may think, things really do get better eventually.

I lack the need to lay my whole life out on the table, but I dealt with some tough events in the past up until this point. (Hell, some days the littlest things will still flare me up for a few minutes.) People died, a parent said goodbye (not forever, but had to leave the house), and I wrestled self-loathing the size of a brontosaurus. And I also admit that, up until almost two years, I failed to get myself the sufficient help I needed; it felt easier to sit in bed, mope, and live in ignorance. However, it’s never too late, and I have put in the work necessary ever since on a daily basis, and makeup and fashion were part of that work. Continue reading “Modeling, Makeup, and Mental Health Awareness Month”

Battling the Voices In Our Heads

Warped Tour 2014
Warped Tour 2014 (with Lyssa at the top left)

Hey there, everyone. Even though this page primarily focuses on fashion and beauty, I also want to start some conversations about mental health awareness and make this place a safe zone for anyone else who struggles like myself.

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Fashion, Beauty & Mental Illness

My grandmother has a favorite picture of me from when I was a little girl, and it sits right on a shelf with some of her other knick-knacks. In that photo, I’m a five- or six-year-old little girl wearing a white hat, big sunglasses, and a dress and applying a clear little lipstick from an old mini kit. (Even at such a young age, lipstick was my favorite thing.) I have such an intent look on my face, making sure it’s on just right. I loved all of my little lippies as well as all of my nail polishes.

Fast forward to 2005. I’m 12 years old and starting my first year of middle school; that little girl has disappeared. Now, I wear nothing but baggy jeans, band t-shirts, cargo shorts, skater shoes, and backward-turned baseball caps. I messed with some eye shadow and whatnot in fifth grade, but that was two years ago. I don’t own a single bit of makeup, nor do I own a single dress or skirt anymore. I don’t care about my appearance; hell, I’ve stopped caring about much of anything, at this point.

Continue reading “Fashion, Beauty & Mental Illness”