Even the Best of Us Loses the Best of Us

Very rarely will I fall off the wagon so hard due to depression or anxiety like in the past; quite frankly, I do not miss that happening one bit. I also know that low points and relapses are a continuous part of life and healing. Despite that, when you spend more time feeling happy rather than miserable, you forget just how exhausting it is to be upset or worried all of the time.

I would be lying to you all if I told you that I have been walking around with my head held high and looking fierce and flawless (as I enjoy once in a blue moon). You want to know what my last week or two has really been like?

Continue reading “Even the Best of Us Loses the Best of Us”

I’ve Been Having a Tough Time…

Hello, all of you spooks. I know I promised the posting schedule will be better, but stressors on the outside have made it nearly impossible for me to focus on my work. My best friend is getting married on Saturday, which led to a few conflicts that blew up into something way worse than it should have been. (Luckily, everything is all right for now.) My full-time job at a casino was insanely busy due to Memorial Day weekend, and I also work extra days straight due to the wedding coming up over the weekend.

A positive side, though: I’m finally starting my Sundays and Mondays off this week, which will leave me so much more time for hangs with friends and actual dates with my boyfriend. (We see each other every week, but I’m not sure that sitting at his house doing his laundry while he works is not the most romantic thing in the book.) Not to mention I worked early yesterday and got to spend the night with my boyfriend, our friend, and his mother.

With every bad, you have to find a positive; at least that’s what I’ve taken away from things happening in my life. You don’t have to be okay all of the time, but you also can’t dwell in the sadness and stay stuck. It’s hard for me to remember that still sometimes.

I hope you all had a relaxing weekend and that you keep on trucking through the tough times in your journeys for happiness.

Modeling, Makeup, and Mental Health Awareness Month

Though a shroud of stigmas surround them, mental illnesses are probably some of the most difficult disorders to try and deal with. It’s sad when people who don’t understand try to make it sound so easy to handle. On the other end, it’s also a bit exaggerated when people who suffer from disorders like depression and anxiety swear they are unable to at least try to keep it from ruining their life in any way.

Despite what people may think, things really do get better eventually.

I lack the need to lay my whole life out on the table, but I dealt with some tough events in the past up until this point. (Hell, some days the littlest things will still flare me up for a few minutes.) People died, a parent said goodbye (not forever, but had to leave the house), and I wrestled self-loathing the size of a brontosaurus. And I also admit that, up until almost two years, I failed to get myself the sufficient help I needed; it felt easier to sit in bed, mope, and live in ignorance. However, it’s never too late, and I have put in the work necessary ever since on a daily basis, and makeup and fashion were part of that work. Continue reading “Modeling, Makeup, and Mental Health Awareness Month”